Not in the spirit

Kitteh #1…

hates the overcommercialization of Christmas. Or he hates reading my blog. I can’t tell.

CHRISTMAS PRESENT UPDATE: Cute with Chris liked my kitteh too!

It’s all about the giving

Broken record

After all the doom and gloom in the news, I was a bit surprised to read this about black Friday weekend:

The National Retail Federation said 172 million shoppers went to stores and Web sites, a 17 percent increase from a year ago and more than a forecast of 128 million. They spent an average of $372.57, up 7.2 percent from last year

MORE people spending MORE money. How can this be?

(Insider trading puts me in the Christmas spirit (and the concert was kick ass))

Under pressure

I’m not so much a Christmas hater as I am a hater of Christmas lights. And it’s not so much that I hate Christmas lights as I hate people who go completely apeshit overboard on Christmas lights. It’s Christmas, not fucking Vegas.

Example (sorry for the shitty pic quality):

I guess that’s not too bad either. I don’t mind holiday light displays too much if the owners take them down (or at least turn them off) before Valentine’s Day.

This is what really got me with these people:

The blob in the the middle of the picture is faux cake that says “Happy Birthday Jesus!” on it. Great. So now this is Christmas AND a fucking birthday party too? I hate birthday parties more than I hate Christmas. It’s hard enough to find and buy a present for my asshole relatives, now I have to worry about What Would Jesus (really) Want for his birthday? Think of the pressure. You need to get something that the Son of God already doesn’t have (a Kohls gift card only works if Christ needs new sheets or some scented candles). And birthday cards are a bitch too. One of those black themed “Over the Hill” cards probably would be in bad taste. I could keep it classy with something like “two millenniums is the new one millennium, my Lord”. or a Maxine card. Everyone loves those, right?

Holly jolly Veteran’s Day

First Christmas display of the year spotted yesterday. What is wrong with these people? I’m still raking leaves. How can you possibly be in the Christmas spirit on NOVEMBER FUCKING 5TH. At least wait until after Thanksgiving. My prediction: they won’t turn them off until Valentine’s Day and probably won’t take them down until St. Patrick’s Day. Another reason why I hate Christmas.

Thinking warm (Christmasy) thoughts, Part 2

This is my last entry in this year’s war on Christmas music:

Kenny Chesney/All I Want For Christmas Is A Real Good Tan

 

(h/t tallfreak)

Eight days of Christmas booty (is enough)

Beyonce and company go all “Meh, who needs the other four days of Christmas when you get a fucking Mercedes” with this one:

And no, that doesn’t feel like Christmas (and I have no idea what “a crotch eye git with dirty denim jeans” means).

They kinda make up for it with this one:

Virtual Christmas gifts (It’s the thought that counts, bitches) Part 2

Hillary stole my idea of giving you something for Christmas without actually giving you anything:

(and Hill, that whole warm-hearted thing doesn’t really work for you)

Virtual Christmas gifts (It’s the thought that counts, bitches)

Being the Christmas season and all, I thought I’d give some virtual Christmas gifts to my more prolific commenters (and do a little link whoring, too). They(the gifts) all come from old Sears Christmas catalogs . Here we go (Santa says click to enlarge):

Just what I wanted for Christmas, a meme! How did you know?

 

OK, bitches, I’ve been officially tagged with the holiday spirit by col (from the family of death starers).

Here we go: