Attack of the 50 foot Buoy

July 13, 2007

The river at night is beyond wonderful;  starlit skies, city skylines, laughing at the land people, it’s heaven.  

It got a bit too close to heaven tonight.  My somewhat capable captain was cruising on back to the dock when he somehow SIDESWIPED A GODDAMNED BUOY AT 40 MPH. 

It’s a sound I’ve never heard before while boating and I never want to hear it again.  All I could think of is where is Leo Dicaprio when you need him.

I’m fine; the boat is fucked. 

My homage sustained a little damage tonight.

(my only consolation, the hot guy in the pic I found)

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6 Responses to “Attack of the 50 foot Buoy”


  1. Near…..far…..where EEEEVER you are…..

    Seriously, what is it with Leo? Towards the end of Titanic, there were women around me on their fifteenth Kleenex, and I was practically screaming at the screen….”Push him off…PUSH HIM OFF…..you can do better, you stupid b*****….AND I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!”

  2. John in IL Says:

    Lol…yeah, I never figured out the Leo attraction either. He’s so scrawny. And I can’t help but say “glug glug glug” when I hear Celine singing that song.

  3. QuakerJono Says:

    Is it bad that I giggled towards the end when the guy fell and hit the propeller?

    As for Leo, I’ve never forgiven him for what he did to Shakespeare in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

  4. QuakerJono Says:

    And yes, incidentally, the guy in the picture is indeed hot. Maritime tragedy hot, I’m not sure, but certainly take-off-the-life-jacket-and-tempt-fate hot.

  5. John in IL Says:

    It’s hard to take off a life jacket and swim on your own and put a condom on at the same time (not that I would know).


  6. All right….so I can count on John and QJ for help with my plot to kidnap Leo and force-feed him a case of cornstarch (washed down with Sonic Ocean Water, ha ha).

    And the guy in the pic is, indeed, hot. Good lips for kissing, nice beard to rub when you’re kissing, reasonable shoulders, and that extra bit of silver-gray that screams, “Yes, I AM somewhat emotionally mature!”


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