Something you won’t find on my Christmas list

November 28, 2007

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Women are great and everything but this gets filed in the “ew” category:

The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas

Vaginas are a fingerprint. Captured in this coloring book along with fun puzzles and games is the uniqueness of the vagina beautifully illustrated. From the compact smooth vagina to a coiffed vagina with full lips. Some are pierced, some are tattooed, some are soft spoken and some are in your face! Illustrate these beautiful vaginas with your imagination and show your love for what makes your world go round! This coloring book is great as a gift, birthday, wedding, whatever! And can be given to either a man or a woman. Color it up with your honey!

Oh my.  I didn’t know vaginas could be “soft spoken”.  If a vagina ever started talking to me, in any manner, I would surely crap my pants.   I have heard stories about those “in your face” vaginas (urban legend, I’m hoping).    

 (and, for the record, I don’t want a penis coloring book either)

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7 Responses to “Something you won’t find on my Christmas list”

  1. QuakerJono Says:

    “Vaginas are a fingerprint?” The mind reels, but I do want to see that episode of Law and Order.

    [Clunk, Clunk]
    Moderately attractive DA: Damnit, Jack, all we’ve got to go on is her vagina! Just because we can put it at the scene of the crime doesn’t mean its guilty.

    Respected Actor Running Out The Clock: It’s enough for me, Abby or whatever we’re calling you this year. Her vagina is enough for me. They’re fingerprints, girl who’ll only be around a year.

    MADA: Jesus, again with the “vaginas are fingerprints” thing.

    RAROTC: Or maybe snowflakes. Each one’s unique. I know she did it because I’ve tried to catch that snowflake on my tongue many times and each one is different.

    MADA: You know, this could be a sexual harassment lawsuit.

    RAROTC: Show me your snowflake, woman who’s name I can’t be bothered to learn because we’ll be replacing you with someone younger soon.

    MADA: Christ, no wonder Jill Hennessey jumped at that block of crap that was Crossing Jordan. Hell, I’d be a regular on According to Jim at this point…I know that’s not an ink pad you’ve got there, Jack.

    RAROTC: MY BOSS IS GOING TO BE PRESIDENT SO SURRENDER YOUR SNOWFLAKE!

  2. John in IL Says:

    LMFAO!

  3. colio2007 Says:

    i’ve never even watched law and order, but i’m LMFO too!

    ewww is right, john. maybe a holiday gift for a gynecologist, tho?

  4. Jamie Says:

    I still can’t get over the last line:

    “Color it with your honey!”

    If that’s not a euphemism then I’m Donald Trump.

  5. PatrickP Says:

    I can’t even bring myself to click on the link.

  6. John in IL Says:

    Pussy.


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