Mother says, Part 2 (or why my mom doesn’t work for the Weather Channel)

January 3, 2008


The weather outside is frightful (hovering around 5 degrees right now).  That once again reminds me of some of the more colorful phrases my elderly mother uses.  Describing the cold weather (as it affects various body parts):

Colder than a well digger’s ass

Colder than a witch’s tit

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey

Some are less folksy:

Colder than hell (???)

and this old chestnut never loses its charm:

It’s fucking cold

Ah, Mother, you do have a way with words (“Hotter than a fritter” is the only warm weather equivalent I can think of right now).


8 Responses to “Mother says, Part 2 (or why my mom doesn’t work for the Weather Channel)”

  1. Jamie Says:

    I grew up hearing a variation on the second one:

    Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra in the middle of February.

    I woke up to -1 degrees this morning. When my balls come out of hiding I’ll let you know.

  2. Forty-eight degrees and soon to be raining. 🙂

  3. colio2007 Says:

    Mum is a real gem.

  4. John in IL Says:

    Jamie: I hear ya sister.

    NDT: Fuck you in the nicest way.

    col: That she is; a drunken sailor talkin’ gem.

  5. Well, believe me, the weather is carrying out your evil fucking wishes, John. 🙂

  6. PatrickP Says:

    It’s in the 50s and just started raining here.

    My Dad always says, “colder than a well digger’s elbow.”

  7. John in IL Says:

    Err, sorry, NDT (I never knew the extent of my (evil)power).

    And Patrick, your dad sounds nice. He would hate my mom.

  8. It’s you, QJ, and Jamie doing the evil power together, John…..sort of like the Halliwell sisters, only better dressed. 🙂

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