I’m here, I’m queer and I don’t need a cabinet full of cleaners

January 23, 2008

Now that I outed myself (with the help of a recent commenter): 

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11 Responses to “I’m here, I’m queer and I don’t need a cabinet full of cleaners”

  1. John in IL Says:

    I hope so.

  2. colio2007 Says:

    Mindful of what I’ve learned today, I think Mr. Mays’ Wikipedia entry may need an update:

    “His high-energy approach to pitching an array of products (AND HIS HIGHLY SEDUCTIVE BEARD) have gained Mays a substantial amount of recognition and a rapidly growing legion of channel changers whenever his voice emanates from the television screen.”

  3. John in IL Says:

    The beard has a lot to do with it. That and the thought of him yelling sweet nothings into my ear.

  4. PatrickP Says:

    I will admit that when I have seen him on TV I have stopped and asked myself, “Is he sorta hot?” But the response has always been a resounding, “NO!” My lord, the yelling, the dye on his hair and beard. Blech. Can you imagine having sex with him? That voice!


  5. I’ll agree with Patrick that it would be hard to get in the mood with a person where kissing him leaves you with a big dark ring around your mouth.

    But at the same time, you gotta admit that hearing him scream, “OH BABY, OH BABY, THAT’S THE STUFF, FASTER, FASTER, GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT!” has some spine-tingling attraction. 🙂

  6. Quakerjono Says:

    My stance with cheap throw-away sex has always sort of been, “If I can hear you talking, then you’re obviously not doing your job.” If someone’s mouth is annoying you between the sheets, fill it. Besides, that’s why God invented ball-gags.

    The dye job issues…yeah, that I can understand. Although, who better to offer advice on cleaning that up? Unless, of course, you’re willing to bang Martha Stewart for cleaning tips…

  7. Jamie Says:

    So, QJ, you like ball-gags but not dirty talk?

    Guess we aren’t as alike as I previously thought. lol

    And thank you for the image of banging Martha Stewart. 🙄

  8. Quakerjono Says:

    Dirty talk is one thing. Dirty yelling and screaming like a crazy person is something quite different.

    And you’re welcome. 😀


  9. Somehow, I think banging Martha Stewart would be the unusual experience of a heterosexual man doing everything normally, but feeling like the world’s biggest pussy bottom.

    As in, “Do what I say, or I’ll cross your nads with a pinking shears — for that LOVELY, classy cut border that just adds so much to your picture mats or scrapbook.”

    Meanwhile, what is sex without noise? You should want the people in the building next door, on the sidewalk outside, and driving past to know. Sort of like a lion roaring after orgasm.

  10. MMS Dave Says:

    2 or 3 years ago I e-mailed OxyClean and told them I wouldn’t buy squat from that perv with shorts 2 sizes too small Billy Mays. And just the other day I see he is back on TV selling something else. Without any prompting my friend says,”I wouldn’t buy !@#$ from that guy!” and so I told my friend my story. That guy couldn’t sell oxygen to emphazema patients! He victimizes the less fortunate in our great country.


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