Dead or Alive: Rules for voting

February 5, 2008


I’ll be voting in the Illinois primary tomorrow. Apart from my vote for whom I think the next president should be, I have to decide who would make the best county coroner. WTF? Why is that a position decided on by voters?

Scratch that. No voting for me. All the candidates are Democrats and I have to declare my party (how do Democratic coroners differ from Republican coroners? now there’s a joke waiting to be written).

To see the rest of the Republican slate, check this shit out.


7 Responses to “Dead or Alive: Rules for voting”

  1. Quakerjono Says:

    It’s just darling how the front page graphic on that PDF makes it look like both mascots are getting ready for a truly professional and epic fisting session.

    Which, when you get right down to it, is really what politics is all about: Who’s hand do you want up your ass for the next four years?

  2. John in IL Says:

    So true. But Republicans have given up on fucking you hard here.

    If you scroll down to page five on the link, to the Republican ballot, my choice is between “no candidate” and “no candidate”. Yipee!

  3. Quakerjono Says:

    Mmmm, well, who can blame them? It all sounds so very confusing, what with the Green party’s ballot being in “salmon”. Not pink. Not light red. Salmon. Confusing AND aesthetically questionable.

    Apparently County Clerk “Dick” Leibovitz is all about his name on many levels…

  4. superdave524 Says:

    Let’s see?

    Hillary for Coroner: You’ll wish you were dead!

    McCain for Coroner: I’m right behind you.

    Romney for Coroner: Free prayer for the Dead with Every vote (it’s a mormon thing, you wouldn’t understand).

    Okay, someone else’s turn.

  5. colio2007 Says:

    Obama for Coroner: Join me for The Resurrection (the audacity)!

  6. Quakerjono Says:

    Obama for Coroner: Hope doesn’t solve everything.

    Richardson for Coroner: I believe death is a choice…well, sort of…but it doesn’t matter…my record on the issue speaks for itself.

    Paul for Coroner: First, I’ll abolish death. Next, I’ll abolish taxes. One may be easier than the other…

    Edwards for Coroner: My wife will handle that one.

    Gonzalez for Coroner: I don’t remember you dying.

  7. John in IL Says:

    LMAO! Well done, bitches.

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