Pop politics

April 1, 2009


Some of you may remember my little obsession with now Illinois Congressman, Aaron Schock. Seems I’m not alone. Huffington Post readers recently voted Schock “Hottest Freshman” in Congress. Finally, I agree with something on HuffPo.

In an even stranger turn, TMZ has been stalking Aaron:

Thank God they got to the important questions! And I thought Aaron handled himself (oh my) perfectly.



Fun (and Fascism)

March 5, 2009


Sorry for the lack of postings. A former love of my life has reentered my world. (No. Not Burt Convey.)

Right around the turn of the century (I love saying that), I found the internet game WordRiot by Pogo. I loved it and played it religiously for about two years. Great game. If anyone remembers the old gameshow Password, it’s kinda like that but with a bunch of people. Sounds like fun, right? Well, it was fun for me. for a while… then it turned ugly. One of the features of the game was that you could boot any player if a majority of players on one team decided so. I liked this. If you sucked at playing the game, you were gone. Yeah, democracy at work! The game also became increasingly cliquish. If you said the wrong thing, you were gone (I got booted for calling someone a Nazi).

In the end, Pogo yanked the game. Flash forward 10 years. Pogo will now let you play WordRiot for the small price of $20. I bought it (and changed my user name). I’m loving it again. You can no longer boot someone. Now you can anonymously rank the cluegivers. Bad cluegivers get less stars. Free markets at work. And it’s much more fun this way.

If you want to play WordRiot for yourself, see here for free trial. (and I’m John in IL there too)

I need you. Yes, only you can help me keep my domain name in my hands. I coughed up the first fifteen bucks for the name because I am a narcissistic son of a bitch (can you be an anonymous narcissist?). That was twelve months ago. Those in charge of teh intertubes are now threatening to take it away from me if I don’t come up with another $15. So I’m doing an internet style fundraiser. Fifteen bucks is all I need. A one dollar contribution will get you a favorable mention on my blog (I’ll say three nice things about you). Give me three dollars and I’ll write a paragraph agreeing with whatever you say. Five dollars will get you all of the above and a free John in IL coffee mug (plus shipping/handling)

Click on Minnie Pearl in my sidebar and she will take care of you.

Google it, dumb ass

May 10, 2008

While driving Mother to Wal-Mart yesterday(she feigns frailty, and, yes, she does have her problems, but the bitch ain’t anywhere near nursing home frail), we passed a busy streetcorner where some dirty hippie/weirdo/ne’er do well has recently taken up his one man fight against “the man”. He walks around with a rather large sign that says “9-11 was an inside job. GOOGLE IT!”. My first thought was “gee, I love to google”. Then, as I turned to my not able to go to Wal-Mart by herself mother to say something about him, she rolls down her window and yells “YOU DUMB ASS!” at the guy. I promptly thanked her for saying what I only would think. She rocks.

24 in ’94

January 19, 2008


retro Jack

For those of you who are bored at work or have lots of time on your hands in general, I recommend my two latest internet game obessions to fill the void:   Farm Hustle and Desktop Tower Defense. Both games are equally annoying (and addicting).


Women are great and everything but this gets filed in the “ew” category:

The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas

Vaginas are a fingerprint. Captured in this coloring book along with fun puzzles and games is the uniqueness of the vagina beautifully illustrated. From the compact smooth vagina to a coiffed vagina with full lips. Some are pierced, some are tattooed, some are soft spoken and some are in your face! Illustrate these beautiful vaginas with your imagination and show your love for what makes your world go round! This coloring book is great as a gift, birthday, wedding, whatever! And can be given to either a man or a woman. Color it up with your honey!

Oh my.  I didn’t know vaginas could be “soft spoken”.  If a vagina ever started talking to me, in any manner, I would surely crap my pants.   I have heard stories about those “in your face” vaginas (urban legend, I’m hoping).    

 (and, for the record, I don’t want a penis coloring book either)