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A friendly reminder to people receiving stimulus checks. The money is on its way.

Here’s a summary of when you’ll get it (from the Tax Foundation):
stimulus checks mailing schedule

and this bitch didn’t read the fine print. Me? I get bupkis. Zero. Nada. Zip. And I’m bitter. The reason: I’m fabulously wealthy I earn my money the wrong way. Making it by scraping a half inch of grease and dog hair off the floor in a repossessed house somehow doesn’t qualify as income when figuring if I get a stimulus check. And the little bit of money I get from the DNA duplex? Nope. That doesn’t count either. Both types of income are considered “unearned income“.

Bitch, I fucking earned it.

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I told kitteh #3 that I loved her the best.

The Sunnis and the Shias are beginning to look like amateurs. Barry and Hill are doing it right.

For my last birthday, a friend of mine bought me a mega pack of pre-cooked bacon and a carton of cigarettes. I thought, is she trying to say “Die already bitch” or giving me exactly what I wanted (I love my friends). And I always wondered how they made that shit (the bacon, not the ciggies):

Happy Tax Freedom Day!

April 23, 2008

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Recycling

April 21, 2008

In honor of Mother Gaia and Earth Day, I thought I would recycle some of my earlier posts that I thought were really good (i.e. I actually took the time to write something and didn’t include a youtube video) but fell flat.

Where did I go wrong? (all title names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Swimming in pee

Illinois geography 101

I call dead people

Bargain shopping

Then again, maybe the world needs to see more youtube videos of kittehs and pictures of Daniel Craig.