Brother, can you spare some stimulation

A friendly reminder to people receiving stimulus checks. The money is on its way.

Here’s a summary of when you’ll get it (from the Tax Foundation):

and this bitch didn’t read the fine print. Me? I get bupkis. Zero. Nada. Zip. And I’m bitter. The reason: I’m fabulously wealthy I earn my money the wrong way. Making it by scraping a half inch of grease and dog hair off the floor in a repossessed house somehow doesn’t qualify as income when figuring if I get a stimulus check. And the little bit of money I get from the DNA duplex? Nope. That doesn’t count either. Both types of income are considered “unearned income“.

Bitch, I fucking earned it.

Here’s hoping (teh other kittehs don’t understand English)

I told kitteh #3 that I loved her the best.

Sectarian violence (you’re doing it wrong)

The Sunnis and the Shias are beginning to look like amateurs. Barry and Hill are doing it right.

You learn something new everyday

For my last birthday, a friend of mine bought me a mega pack of pre-cooked bacon and a carton of cigarettes. I thought, is she trying to say “Die already bitch” or giving me exactly what I wanted (I love my friends). And I always wondered how they made that shit (the bacon, not the ciggies):

Happy Tax Freedom Day!

Giorgio Moroder: Rules for living

Recycling

In honor of Mother Gaia and Earth Day, I thought I would recycle some of my earlier posts that I thought were really good (i.e. I actually took the time to write something and didn’t include a youtube video) but fell flat.

Where did I go wrong? (all title names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Swimming in pee

Illinois geography 101

I call dead people

Bargain shopping

Then again, maybe the world needs to see more youtube videos of kittehs and pictures of Daniel Craig.

Engineers (with cats) say what?

and corporal cuddling really works (or maybe I just like torturing teh kittehs).

(h/t the always generous col)

Kitteh says what (the Jazz version)

Eurythmics: Rules for living

Sin is fun (and profitable):

Dreaming like a Texan girl is fun:

Men are fun:

Big Brother makes me want to dance: